never look back, never look down
lappy was down for the past two weeks, decided to re-formatt it because that's the only choice and i officially using a brand new lappy. no songs, movies, pictures and folders.
i've been busy lately with day and night dives for the whole week, it was totally tiring. i have to clock enough dive time for my air phrase and it was an experience for me i would say, doing searches which you cannot see underwater but sometimes just going through motion as fatigues overcomes me. almost twenty hours with the instructors and which means we can be punished anytime we if we made any mistakes.
i would see the sea everyday and every moment, can even withness sunset over there which it will be different seeing it without training. there's one more month to graduate from dive phrase which they might be extending it because i have to clocked 1500mins for O2 phrase which is ridiculous. i do not know how am i going to complete that. seriously, im quite tired of the lifestyle in there, tireness is always running over me, mentally challenged anytime. this is what they called a naval diver because we are trained to do that.
alot of people including inside camp has the wrong concept of hellweek. just because we gone through hellweek doesnt mean we are called to do the shit and that's why they are called the elite forces. how frustrated it is because just of that, it take away so much of you and even change your characteristic. i guess i have no where to go to but to complete it as i'm almost done and this lifestyle is going to be with me for the day i ord.
i decided to to revive it, its been a while since i blogged. i suppose nobody come into my blog because of no updates.
for the past one month after hellweek, life in ndu has been hectic. i have so much things i need to learn and have to been done in a short time. underwater and land priming, theories about scuba and physical activites's timing that have to be met. as usual, they would threaten the class with confinement if didnt do well which i destest the most and that's what makes it more difficult to achieve. exhausted and stress can describe me till now. the only motivation that kept me going is her, my parents and of course God.
i have more eight more weeks to graduate with the diver's badge. sometimes, i do wonder why am i working so hard and yet got punished at the end of the day just for the badge. the class have a tight schedule that need to achieve, i need to clock my diving hours and achieve the timing for physical activites that i can only graudate, these can able to kill me literally.
looks like i just need to carry on and by his grace i will graduate. she said, i have already came so far, from ptp, bmt, pcp, hellweek and now, i can do it.
side track a little, i got my eyes on this beauty. hope to get it soon.
I'm sorry for the absence of me mainly of pure laziness.
Five months in ndu and one more week to hellweek, what can i say. Thank God, i'm still alive and kicking and stronger than before.
Whenever people know i'm in ndu, they would say, tough eh, wow ndu, i will still think is the same army we're serving, is no big deal which unit we are in. The only different thing about ndu and other forces is that we take in more shit than any other unit.
But anyway, i know myself even more through hard times and there's something good about ndu which they banished you to your lowest point and expect you to come out victorious. that sounds familiar eh? "God puts you in your lowest valley and expects you to come out victorious."
merry christmas to all!
12 days of freedom
11 days of lazing on the bed and sleep at home
33 meals of indulgence of food
288 hrs of liberty
precious time with loved ones and pure enjoyment.
Two weeks plus in ndu, i'm sort of settled down in the camp except adjusting myself of waking up early as 5.30am for breakfast and training after that. Training is a normal thing for me period and at times i would i say they tortured us mentally than physically which i was defeated at times. But gradually i'm used to the trainings they gave to me.
The batch are mainly poly guys and of course poly guys are much more of attitudes than jc guys. That problem has gave us punishments over and over again which i'm trying my best talk nicely to the attitude guys. I'm staying with three guys in a cabin, basically they are quite nice except one. Apparently, i'm the cabin ic and he is not working as a team and just being plain selfish. My buddy is a joker which i'm quite relieved than having a introvet one. His family background is taoism and his house is specially for inviting spirits to be possessed.
The training will be tough in time to come and i believe i'm able to overcome it one by one although it may seems unachieveable and psychotic to me. Now, i have to book in like some of my cg members on sunday at a certain time. but anyway, i was well pampered when i got home, nice food is given to me, asking me what are the things i lack and they would buy. Take for example that first weekend i booked out, dad was polishing shoes for me, mum was ironing clothes for me and she was packing and labeling stuff for me. haha. But then once i'm in camp, i'm back to square one, depending on myself
i guess i ended my ten months of being a lifeguard at swimming complex last thursday. there's where i did my first rescue, there's where the people has broadened my thinking.
i bought pandan cakes for them as appreciation. they taught me tons of stuff during working days which i learnt a lot and applying some into my life.
one of the colleagues treated me to lunch and even my kaki dropped over my place just to give me an eagle keychain which engraved my name on it. my mentor dropped me a message that i did well as a lifeguard all the while and wished me all the best i can. these little things make me feel touched and will wanna carry on with life with the best i can.
I met up with and old friend on my birthday for lunch, really good to see him once again.
just to tell you a little more about him. He's fifteen years older than me and we met in school because he was a temp teacher that time. we started to hit it well when i was in seconday one and from that day, we go out and talked on the phone that time. dont be mistaken, we are not gays. He's the one who inspired me from the very start to be body-fit and that's what i am now. He even went on a thailand trip with my family it was memorable one for me. anyway, we went for lunch at billy bombers and ended with a movie.
it's really surprising that the people that gave me birthday messages on that day that i least expected. thanks people.
The month of august which means the month ghost festival, i will never be looking forward to that month except my birthday. Apparently, i stay on the second floor and people just start to burn hell notes right outside my window and the great thing is those ashes and smoke will start to fly up into my room once any breeze comes. I cant do anything but only to close my windows and my parents are into this campaigns every year.
This is leads to my serious flu every now and then and for the moment i thought i could have dengue and checked out the website and it wasnt.
seven more days of going in camp. I'm feeling normal but irriated by some of the comments that friends gave. He said, "darren. breathe more air, the air of freedom! kiss the ground before you go in. And he said, protect the nation! a soldier of singapore! man, you guys are not helping me at all. After all this feeling of going in and your freedom will be manipulated by people is not good but every now and then, i'm preparing my heart ready for everything and just take it positivity what it comes.
thanks for the people that celebrated my birthday and gave me gifts so far. a belt, red packet from dad, beanie from the cg and a bag from her last of all. it was defintely better than last year's birthday including herself or maybe im going into ns so im getting alot more here and there. anyway thanks.