never look back, never look down

2008-03-30T18:04:00.004+08:00

lappy was down for the past two weeks, decided to re-formatt it because that's the only choice and i officially using a brand new lappy. no songs, movies, pictures and folders.

i've been busy lately with day and night dives for the whole week, it was totally tiring. i have to clock enough dive time for my air phrase and it was an experience for me i would say, doing searches which you cannot see underwater but sometimes just going through motion as fatigues overcomes me. almost twenty hours with the instructors and which means we can be punished anytime we if we made any mistakes.

i would see the sea everyday and every moment, can even withness sunset over there which it will be different seeing it without training. there's one more month to graduate from dive phrase which they might be extending it because i have to clocked 1500mins for O2 phrase which is ridiculous. i do not know how am i going to complete that. seriously, im quite tired of the lifestyle in there, tireness is always running over me, mentally challenged anytime. this is what they called a naval diver because we are trained to do that.

alot of people including inside camp has the wrong concept of hellweek. just because we gone through hellweek doesnt mean we are called to do the shit and that's why they are called the elite forces. how frustrated it is because just of that, it take away so much of you and even change your characteristic. i guess i have no where to go to but to complete it as i'm almost done and this lifestyle is going to be with me for the day i ord.

2008-03-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

i decided to to revive it, its been a while since i blogged. i suppose nobody come into my blog because of no updates.

for the past one month after hellweek, life in ndu has been hectic. i have so much things i need to learn and have to been done in a short time. underwater and land priming, theories about scuba and physical activites's timing that have to be met. as usual, they would threaten the class with confinement if didnt do well which i destest the most and that's what makes it more difficult to achieve. exhausted and stress can describe me till now. the only motivation that kept me going is her, my parents and of course God.

i have more eight more weeks to graduate with the diver's badge. sometimes, i do wonder why am i working so hard and yet got punished at the end of the day just for the badge. the class have a tight schedule that need to achieve, i need to clock my diving hours and achieve the timing for physical activites that i can only graudate, these can able to kill me literally.

looks like i just need to carry on and by his grace i will graduate. she said, i have already came so far, from ptp, bmt, pcp, hellweek and now, i can do it.

side track a little, i got my eyes on this beauty. hope to get it soon.

2007-12-23T12:40:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for the absence of me mainly of pure laziness.

Five months in ndu and one more week to hellweek, what can i say. Thank God, i'm still alive and kicking and stronger than before.

Whenever people know i'm in ndu, they would say, tough eh, wow ndu, i will still think is the same army we're serving, is no big deal which unit we are in. The only different thing about ndu and other forces is that we take in more shit than any other unit.

But anyway, i know myself even more through hard times and there's something good about ndu which they banished you to your lowest point and expect you to come out victorious. that sounds familiar eh? "God puts you in your lowest valley and expects you to come out victorious."

merry christmas to all!

2007-12-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

12 days of freedom

11 days of lazing on the bed and sleep at home

33 meals of indulgence of food

288 hrs of liberty

precious time with loved ones and pure enjoyment.

2007-09-09T18:02:00.000+08:00

Two weeks plus in ndu, i'm sort of settled down in the camp except adjusting myself of waking up early as 5.30am for breakfast and training after that. Training is a normal thing for me period and at times i would i say they tortured us mentally than physically which i was defeated at times. But gradually i'm used to the trainings they gave to me.

The batch are mainly poly guys and of course poly guys are much more of attitudes than jc guys. That problem has gave us punishments over and over again which i'm trying my best talk nicely to the attitude guys. I'm staying with three guys in a cabin, basically they are quite nice except one. Apparently, i'm the cabin ic and he is not working as a team and just being plain selfish. My buddy is a joker which i'm quite relieved than having a introvet one. His family background is taoism and his house is specially for inviting spirits to be possessed.

The training will be tough in time to come and i believe i'm able to overcome it one by one although it may seems unachieveable and psychotic to me. Now, i have to book in like some of my cg members on sunday at a certain time. but anyway, i was well pampered when i got home, nice food is given to me, asking me what are the things i lack and they would buy. Take for example that first weekend i booked out, dad was polishing shoes for me, mum was ironing clothes for me and she was packing and labeling stuff for me. haha. But then once i'm in camp, i'm back to square one, depending on myself

2007-08-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

i guess i ended my ten months of being a lifeguard at swimming complex last thursday. there's where i did my first rescue, there's where the people has broadened my thinking.
i bought pandan cakes for them as appreciation. they taught me tons of stuff during working days which i learnt a lot and applying some into my life.
one of the colleagues treated me to lunch and even my kaki dropped over my place just to give me an eagle keychain which engraved my name on it. my mentor dropped me a message that i did well as a lifeguard all the while and wished me all the best i can. these little things make me feel touched and will wanna carry on with life with the best i can.

I met up with and old friend on my birthday for lunch, really good to see him once again.
just to tell you a little more about him. He's fifteen years older than me and we met in school because he was a temp teacher that time. we started to hit it well when i was in seconday one and from that day, we go out and talked on the phone that time. dont be mistaken, we are not gays. He's the one who inspired me from the very start to be body-fit and that's what i am now. He even went on a thailand trip with my family it was memorable one for me. anyway, we went for lunch at billy bombers and ended with a movie.

it's really surprising that the people that gave me birthday messages on that day that i least expected. thanks people.

2007-08-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

The month of august which means the month ghost festival, i will never be looking forward to that month except my birthday. Apparently, i stay on the second floor and people just start to burn hell notes right outside my window and the great thing is those ashes and smoke will start to fly up into my room once any breeze comes. I cant do anything but only to close my windows and my parents are into this campaigns every year.

This is leads to my serious flu every now and then and for the moment i thought i could have dengue and checked out the website and it wasnt.

seven more days of going in camp. I'm feeling normal but irriated by some of the comments that friends gave. He said, "darren. breathe more air, the air of freedom! kiss the ground before you go in. And he said, protect the nation! a soldier of singapore! man, you guys are not helping me at all. After all this feeling of going in and your freedom will be manipulated by people is not good but every now and then, i'm preparing my heart ready for everything and just take it positivity what it comes.

thanks for the people that celebrated my birthday and gave me gifts so far. a belt, red packet from dad, beanie from the cg and a bag from her last of all. it was defintely better than last year's birthday including herself or maybe im going into ns so im getting alot more here and there. anyway thanks.

2007-07-31T05:25:00.000+08:00

a trip to redang island

went to snorkeling with her at redang last week, it was fantastic. eat well, they really give you good food and serve you like king and queen, sleep well, a room that is so big that can compare with my home living room, play well, snorkeling and swimming, beautiful evironment away from singapore and a refreshing of mind before i go to ns.

e exciting experience in the open water and able to see and touch it myself which normally i can see on tv only at home. they said we are able to see sharks, rays and turtles and we are only exposed to small fishes surrounding us.

after this trip, i'm sure i'm more comfortable with choride water than salt water. everytime after snorkling, my face would itch so much. and i do not know how am i gonna survive in diving unit for the next two years for that.

2007-07-21T00:43:00.001+08:00

okay, i admit i didnt update it faithfully, letting the readers down. this entry is delicated to you. guys.

i've been wanting to go for a one time overseas trip before i go to ns so for these few weeks, i've been going to travel agencies to check out trips and prices. from foreign agency to local ones, it has been hounding me in my mind all the while, finding which one is the best price and stuff like that. and finally, i went to golden mile and settled for a local one and is quite famous. man, it can be rather tiring to plan an overseas trip which this is my first time going by myself without my family. so i'm quite relieved now that everything is settled.

i'm leaving work about in one week time after my trip, been thinking what kinda food should i buy for them. some are vegetarians and some and meat-eaters. or maybe i should buy a high cushion chair for them and they can sit on comfort while they're working.

recently, there are few disputes during work, in case there are also politics in lifeguard jobs you do not know and in fact in every job, there are politics. there are issues like uniforms which supposely arrived in may. and colleague's uniforms are able to cover your knee caps and big round neck tops. and changing of schedule leads to unfairness to some people and they only can complain behind bosses back as they dont wanna ruin the good images of them or some doesnt want to cuz it may be a huge heated argument after all. i'm working as a part time over there so it doesnt affect me greatly but only can lend them my ear.

2007-06-11T01:49:00.000+08:00

today is my sec kaki's commissoning parade, went there with np friends to support him. the parade and whole new experience is so interesting and overwhelming.

and watching the parade reminds me that i'll be enlisting in 22 aug at navy diving unit. the disclipine and ns life is waiting for me.

a welcome message for me in advance from my colleague's friend that is in ndu.

mind over body, make it happen.
do it once, do it good.
first time, everytime been there.
done that it pays to be a winner.
same shit, different day.
nothing stands in our way.
dont feel sorry for yourself.
tough times dont last but tough man do.
welcome to the frog family. naval divers warriors of the deep.

the starting of the parade finally.

coming up of the colour flags contingent.

minister of defence just walked past him and
i took it in time.

mr loh chong ghee. sorry sir.

the yang brothers and the officer.

parade almost over and he's smiling away.

after parade and going off for buffet dinner.

they are ready to throw their pick cap. what a
achievement eh.

2007-06-02T16:38:00.000+08:00

we went to the zoo as planned. as i walked into the zoo, the feeling which i had that moment was immeasurably great. all the while, i have been watching animals on the tv is just steps away from me watching it face to face. animals, here i come!

these are just some of the photos, please enjoy.

welcome to the singaore zoo! should have
asked that indian guy to take it nearer.

first stop, the asian otters. they came in a big
group of twenty and the baby otters are so
cute and were following closely with their
parents.

where shall i go. left or right?

second stop, polar bear. my all time favourite
bear who is living in the artic. his name is inuka
and living with his mother in the enclosure.

my goodness. polar bear's fat content in milk is
so high. i wonder their milk is able for humans to
consume. haha. jinnie, im sure their milk can easily
surpass our protein and milk.

inuka, the male polar bear. there are only left
5000 polar bears in the world. we can save them
by switching our electricity if we are not using.

look at the squirrel standing and i managed to
to take a shot of it with her.

what can i say?

what makes me excited are those animal killers
and i only saw one lion in her den. and she is always
look away when i wanna take shots at her. *faint.

giraffe. didnt stay too long to look at it.

what are u looking at?

darren neo. the crocodile hunter. haha.
reminds me of steve irwin.

how sweet it is. he just put his hand on her and
i took it just in time. didnt saw ah meng.

the baboon family. a troop of more than 70
baboons, their butt is damn red. haha. is really
so different from what i saw on tv. i saw a male dominant
had sex with her a couple of seconds and walked off.
interesting.

baby baboon and her mother. she was gonna
take some grass and cover the baby with. this is
my last photo and the camera has low batt.
how nice it is when im wanna take white tiger.
*sad.

2007-05-23T16:02:00.000+08:00

i wonder how thiefs are able to intrude into houses and steal jewellery, money and bulky stuff like television and cd player, getting out of the house safetly without waking up the people in the house.

i just went into to my sister's room to take correction tape merely and i have to grip my teeth so tight and keeping cool. its so hard to be a thief, hands down. if my sister didnt cover her face with blanket and door is not locked, i will b a dead man and shot immediately.

e latest information i got that i will be enlisting in the month of sept, that means three months from now. im planning my time what should i do before i go in.

i was thinking about this when i was jogging earlier on, why some guys fail terrbile as a man in NS, be it vocation or BMT and i came to thought later that you are yourself in there, you need to motivate yourself to live your life mostly, whereas in the outside world , you have the advertisment ads or shows in tv, that you wanna be like them and they motivated you. i was like that too until i come to a point that i need to believe in myself. this is my life and future is in my hands but not watching people in shows to motivate yourelf to do things.

hmm. i've been jogging for the past weeks, havent been seeing women jogging but men, what happened to them? are they busy getting ready for the great sale, putting helmets and gears for it like the ad in the tv? oh well. i better get ready too. haha.

what's happening for the next month.

emerge conference from church, im looking forward for the sessions and songs of course. haha.
zoo-ing with her and im buying sneakers when my pay comes in and kenneth cole watch from her. life is still good and like what i said to nancy when she asked me how am i, the usual thing i will say to her, more money i can spend, it will defintely be better.

2007-05-15T18:15:00.000+08:00

how is he enjoying life when he's not working.

orange juice in the morning
swimming
and jogging after that
soy milk
talking to her on the phone
a good night sleep

these two kids came to swim in late morning, no surprise. but when the kids came out of the restroom and jump into the water and bubbles were appearing bigger and not disappearing instead. went to confront them and found out they were playing truant and their pockets were full of soap. how dumb it is. and the best part is they lied and said they were from primary school and shorts has a logo of **** secondary. they continued to lie when they were asked for contact numbers. from that moment, i remembered i was like them in the past, making a fool of ourselves and thought it was still fun.

anyway, when i work morning shifts, drinking milk which cannot be missed in my daily life until being found out that drinking too much pasteurized milk can cause intestine cancer. *blank. i was wondering no matter what food i eat, it will cause you something bad in your body eventually.

mother's day just over. tonic drink for my mum and anlene powder milk which her mum wants. mum, sister, grandparents, cousin, aunt's birthday, mother's day for the past months. oh well. went other new places with her other than movies, cant believed we can rack our heads out what's fun in singapore. three months soon, falling in love with her everyday. (:

2007-03-26T02:09:00.001+08:00

why they are still so good-looking after escaping from prison? i will defintely wanna escape with the brothers. its is still exciting even im watching the second time.

2007-03-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

i apologise for not updating for these few weeks, especially for those loyal readers of mine that visit my blog and always sees the rather digusting picture.

anyway, i have been working as per normal, i can say that i'm blending well with the full and part timers eventually. although there were few disputes which will happen in every workplace. and for me, i'm just the listening ear for them and overall, they like working with me. recently, my mentor even wants to change me into permanent temp which i was quite relieved and of course happy that the light of mine still can shine in the swimming complex.

other than working, i've been spending quite alot on taxi fares, good food, hanging out with friends which later on, i was quite guilty of it and shocked how much can i spend within just a few days. i shall plan my finance carefully and be a good steward.

is it i'm getting older by the days that i'm thinking so much about future or i've started to work and all things that comes to your mind are natural? i've been thinking alot what i wanna do in order to maximise my finances, time and talents to get the best results. which i think is a good thing that get me going forward and higher.

life has changed much different from now. i'm seeing someone after so many hard knocks. which i didnt update for so long, that's why. we are officially together, leader has prayed for us and blessed us. praise the Lord. we are still the same us, please dont do anything silly which we are expecting it. i would appreciate you come and congratulates us.that's about it, shall update more soon.

during one of my work days, we need to set up the pits and lanes. in the meanwhile, my kaki and me are trying out the pits.

on your mark! get set go!

this is the morning and afternoon shift, "lao yu sheng." huat la!

2007-02-12T15:02:00.000+08:00

had chalet yesterday, though i was just a night staying, it was fun and good.
the pics shows it all.
we went to the red house which they called the house is haunted. ben, ts, sebast and me went in leaving two girls are totally afraid waiting outside for us. we didnt managed to go into the rooms, it was too creepy when i saw it. haha. i told ts, " wei, i dont wanna go in la. look outside can already." after that, we went back.

oh ya. jinnie and me finally make ts wet. should have filled the water to the brim, he wasnt angry and was smiling even after the sabo.

next time can we book at least two rooms?
we have to squeeze like packed tuna.

joel and me went to buy toto in e middle of the
night. haha. hands itchy, cant help it.

an american cute guy was so friendly that he was willing to take photo.

oh ya. operah winfrey came.

2007-01-20T16:53:00.000+08:00

monday
working as a center today. nothing happened as usual, started to chat with the regular swimmers and taking charge of the big pool at times whereas part-timers are only in charge of baby pool.

tuesday
i'm being called up to do afternoon shift. i begin to take charge of situations alone. seniors started to give me tasks and stuff above from what i always do.

wednesday
morning shift this time. morning shift is the hardest to pass time. usually old people will come early in the morning to swim. i have to keep an eye on them, later they died of heart attack while they swim, i will be in deep trouble. when the sun begin to hit the complex, more people will appeared, gays and sun-tanners. i keep seeing the same guys practically everyday. my senior told me that guy gay want. and i said, "serious ah? but gays still need to eat ma, how come no need to work and come and tan everyday?" haha.
i was sitting with my partner, derek as the sun hit us strongly from where we are. i realized something is burning and came to know my face is totally toasted and have a shade's mark. i went to the opposite shaded side and chill with the seniors.

thursday
my kaki is partnering with me today. told him i had medical check-up with the naval base and he immediately called his friend that if i'm in, asked him to take care of me. that encourage me a little. but later he shared the danger and stuff in diving unit and he still asked me i still have chance to turn back during the check-up. he asked me to "keng!" haha.

friday
afternoon shift again. it rained heavily in the evening. managed to take photo of the rainbow, never seen such a close up of it before. i came to realized majority of the lifeguards married late and are in their late 40s. they still have children as young as less than ten. they still have so many years to work hard to provide for the family. seeing them, i better married and have kids in the 30s.
when this man came in, uncle john, my senior told me about this man. they called him, "splash water man" in hokkien. basically he will come almost every night around 8plus. you know what he do? he will go to one corner of the swimming pool and splash water with his hands and do kicking stationary. weird man. haha.

2007-01-13T16:41:00.000+08:00

You scored as Psychology/Sociology. You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Psychology/Sociology

88%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

81%

Visual&PerformingArts

81%

HR/BusinessManagement

75%

Religion/Theology

75%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

63%

Education/Counseling

63%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

63%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

56%

English/Journalism/Comm

56%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

56%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

50%

Mathematics/Statistics

38%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

38%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

2007-01-07T20:14:00.000+08:00

i finally put that stainless steel around my teeth. obviously the results and the pain does not seem to be what i had expected intially when i haven't put it on.

i didnt know it is so troublesome and irritating putting the braces. for the first time, i cant enjoy my chicken rice without swaying my tongue on my upper teeth at the end of the meal. when i ordered noodles or ban mian, i swallow the stuff but not munch. i need to cut my bread into smaller pieces in order to eat. oh well. beauty
comes together with the word sacrifice.

looking back at 2006, the things that i have done wrong and correct, glorious and sinful. it defintely has made me to become a stronger person. thank God for the people who are around me, you know who you are and thank God for still pressing on all this while.

anyway 2007 is here already, there are so much things i wanna get it done and come to pass. the more i think of it, the more excited i am. first time at sentosa picnic later and the people who are going are still online. i just hope we will make it happen somehow.

2006-12-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

its was raining heavily. most people cant go out because of the rain. curses and swear upon it. working people will think that its a good time to sleep at home but too bad they are working. so their mood for the day goes down as well.

for me, i love rain at this point. what a relax feeling to go to work during rain. where we will not allow people to go to swim because of the thunder and stuff. there was this colleague that was working with me today was shouting to the sky, rain come ba, rain come ba. he started to sing after that, and rain really come indeed. haha.

walking around and chatting with the colleagues or changing seats here and there to find a comfortable seat. besides that, when people are sitting together you will chit-chat or something, obviously you will talk unless you are dumb or introvet, but instead they are stuffing me with their precious life experiences and working life.

a senior who is working there has watched me grow up and was my coach for swimming since young and now he's sharing his experiences with me. i started to believe to have a mentor is for life, no matter what age are you and where are you expertise in, they are still there to give you advices.

christmas is coming real soon. a new year is coming soon also. people, NS, fastened your seat belts, he's coming, be prepared to be influenced by him.

2006-12-15T12:06:00.000+08:00

im not that bad afterall.

2006-12-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

i was on my way home in the train and all of a suddenly, there was this american guy started to talk to me, i was a little startled but anyway he was just trying to be friendly and he asked me how was my day so i replied back. things started to get strange and people around us keep looking at us. and the conversation doesnt end just like that, he started to ask me what i usually do and stuff like that.

i thought he came from overseas and cultures are not the same, that's why he's so friendly. why not since im alone and its better than to talk to another person than staring in blank. and halfway through the conversation, i asked him why is he doing in singapore, and he told me he is a missonary. and this explains what's the conversation about and he gave me some stuff of course and invite me to his chuch or something which i was expecting it already. after i alighted, the whole thing was in my mind some questions were left with no answers. but anyway a nice guy actually. damn. should have ask him to come for christmas celebration.

2006-12-13T05:48:00.000+08:00

havent had a good supper for a very long time, went to changi village to makan. this time it was a little bit different cuz i have to cook e steak by myself. i wanted to be medium rare intially but at the end of the day, it was really well done.

i dont really liked him when we first met, man with few words and dont say hello back. but after working with him for the same shift, he's quite a nice person afterall, he told me about his life and stuff. you cant help when two persons are sitting together doing nothing.
he's a chinese sinseh and he's not a ordinary one. he healed many people that are terminal-ill. apart from that, he's a really a good swimming coach, many people went to him to learn swimming and i got some techinques and skills out of the chatting. back then, he's e fastest man swimming butterfly for 23s for 50m. even ang peng siong have to stand aside and watch him perform. a very humble man which i can learn from.

2006-11-29T08:14:00.000+08:00

this is the first time i got food poisoning, you will probably laugh what is the cause of this poisoning. yes. i ate carl jr meal yesterday night and is a double western bacon cheeseburger combo meal. the feeling of getting food poisoning was unbearable and irritating. i probably wont eat carl jr. again.

i've been working at swimming complex for the past few days, i would say that the the environment is quite good, typical swimming complex and most importantly, the people over there are nice. each day i worked, i'm learning so many new stuff from them. not only the tactics of saving people but also the mangement of life.

i'll be alright

2006-11-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

Mr S. you can do better than this, is this all you that u have got? if u wanna hit me, pls hit me harder, i can take in whatever you wanna give it to me. i'm sick and tired of of your old tricks.

w260

2006-11-16T15:28:00.000+08:00

this is the result that friends stayed overnight and make senseless videos. this is one of the videos that we have made last year. enjoy it and maybe it can cheer you up for the day.

2006-11-13T04:28:00.000+08:00

major papers are over. :)

2006-10-23T03:34:00.000+08:00

less than a month and its over. it seems so long but its going to be over real quick. i wanted to get over with it fast but at the same time, i felt im leaving school life in a short time and i will not be studying for two years plus.

the doctor asked me whether i wanted to join navy diving. i paused. and i agreed.

2006-10-14T13:10:00.000+08:00

its not a bad thing to have a good meal to reward yourself after an afternoon of study.

great company
dramatic comedy
unwanted laughter

intial cost without buffet: $138
one person: $69
buffet price of one person: $18
bill: $37.65

ts were praying for strength so that he can continue to eat

2006-10-09T02:10:00.000+08:00

last lap of my studies life. darren, stay focused!
flood me with your wisdom and peace.
give me all the support that i need.

family, friends, trips, diving, lifeguard, here i come!
back to nature and sun once again.

2006-09-05T05:03:00.000+08:00

when i was in my room, heard people singing happy birthday. living in the second storey, i will look what's going on of course.

a group of bangladash workers are celebrating birthday with their co-worker. and surprising, their supervisior is also celebrating with them. aww.
the world is still full of love.

renewed

2006-08-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

do you have imagine that someday and somehow that your parents are saved where you have bought them.
that they go with you to service and go home together. that they are growing more in e Lord every day and share their revelation with you. that they wanted to get baptised and asked you wanna get baptised together and you said you have done it years ago. that life started to change for the better and family bonding getting stronger because of Him.
it's just a matter of time.

He is still good to me. im having a small breakthrough in praise and worship which is good. i have never been so serious of my life about decisions that i have been making regardless of music and everything.

heard from someone that bro poh practised his song close to a hundred times in order to digest it and know it from inside out each time he is going to play for service. what's more a person like me playing merely for cellgroup whereas he's playing for service. what can i say. spirit of excellence ya.

time is running out real fast. prelims less than a month and Os comes after that. i realized that most people that blogged talked about school and exams at least once. no more mentioning about exams entry except good news after that. see that? its piling up every day and i was staring at it for some time. how in the world i can collect until this much and its not stopping.

project runway

2006-08-11T12:25:00.000+08:00

competition called the "project runway" after cgm which brings me out of my comfort zone. its about designing your clothes and appearance related to the theme called" spirit of singapore."

the "burnt offering"

1st runner up for project runway 2006

i kiss dating good-bye

2006-08-04T14:20:00.000+08:00

this issue is rather sensitive but this blog is mine, who cares?

some people asked why am i not attached at this age. the questions were repeating until i get tired at times. they asked me do i really have a problem myself. the answer is obviously no.

afterall He wants us to enjoy intimate relationship.

Genesis2:18
And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.

the reason i'm not attached not because i dont want to get married and not because i dont enjoy romance. but because i wanted to wait on romance but not satisfying my short term needs. im not going to do that just because im selfish.

anyway, my timetable has been shifted a little. which means i will have classes on morning all the way to evening. how wonderful it is. sometimes i do wonder is this school psycho or something. but anway it's the choice i have made, im gonna graduate at the end of the year. that's the good news.

9.30am-11am= social studies
11am-12.30pm= physics
12.30-1.30pm= lunch break
1.30pm-3pm= english
3pm-4.30pm= chinese
4.30pm-6pm= social studies

to be held

2006-07-30T17:37:00.000+08:00

it's more than a week since i sat down to blog. i was so frustrated with the connection these days and i cant get online to search my stuff. oh well, the connection is not mine so i have to bear with it.

school has successfully immersed me into school work and revision. i got a personal revealation from someone and it was a strong one as well. it really make me think what i need to do right now and focus solve all problems. it had really changed my mindset, simple words that came out and it captivated my mind. Looking back, the devil had me real tight for the past months and i was awaken by it.

recently, i was coughing as if i was suffocating. especially at nights. must be the durains that i ate. one by one and i ate five to seven in just afew minutes and it was really sensation. i could have not stop it and able to finish the whole of it myself but i still want my voice.

when i scrolled down the phone book in my phone. i realized there are quite number of friends that are close to me are rather who are either working or in army. and some are so close once that we didnt contact for years. my heart felt so heavy when i think of it. that's really sad thing when all of us get on with life and forget about each other.

things are getting to a higher gear i sense it and i will not give up my rights to be happy, i will not give up my dreams for anything lesser. He says a man without dreams or visions will perish. i will continue to play for Him and praise Him. keep on going, keep on going.

Phi3:13-14
Brethren, i do not count myself to have apprehended: but one thing i do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.I press towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

pirates of the caribbean

2006-07-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

pirates of the caribbean: i just love the way johnny depp brings out the character of the show.

granny's birthday

2006-07-17T18:09:00.000+08:00

it's getting real bad. is 2.51am and im still not asleep.

it was granny's birthday on saturday and she has moved to seletar. the moment i open the gate and went to greet granny, almost twenty pair of eyes were looking at me and started to wonder who this boy is. the aunties were started to talk about me and my sisters. i was sitting until the buffet was ready. cousins and relatives came and even i know them, we did not exchange a single word. its was a sad thing that once we were close and after moving to our houses, the connection is gone.

as i was sitting on the bench,

2nd aunt: aiyo, taolin so tall and big. aiyo. i cant even recongize you leh.
2nd aunt's daughter-in-law: i see him during new year, ya lor, he so big sia.

and it keeps going on until we went home. i was thinking, do u need to talk until so loud and the whole world knows about it. the power of women. sigh. but most importantly, what matters the most is my granny to be happy. anyway, she's 86 this year.

renew my mind and spirit of wisdom.

mothers

2006-07-12T14:34:00.000+08:00

are all the mothers so naggy at times?

sms at night.
mum: Sleep. your pimples and health
two mintues later
mum: almost 12am. skin need rest.

maybe i need to switch off my lights and plug the ear piece into e lappy.

chinese orals on thursday. studying my guts out at school. need someone to talk to.

world cup fever is over. france has lost. what a pity. zidane, u should headbutt him even harder so that he cant stand up and have to be carried out.

fresh look.

2006-07-05T13:30:00.000+08:00

new blog layout, guess i finally change it and the amazing part is i do it myself and help from someone or should i say a big help. thanks hor.

school has started, three and half more months to the big one. i started to wear flip-flops to school since it's just school but not fashion runway. my chinese teacher asked me, "aiyo, taolin, why wear slippers?" haha. of course i said coming to school only ma and she smiles at me.

i realized that God is very funny and annoying at times. He purposely put people that you dont like in your life for may times when u do not want to see them. and its true. i got transfered out of my class for maths and i get to see the people that i dont like in the next class. see how God do things for me. and it doesnt happen to me just once but many times! so its not just coincidence, i believe that.

visions are not to be dumped.

2006-07-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

had this conversation with this friend in msn.

d: what is the website that u said can able to download song?
s: www.baidu.com
d: thanks.
s: wei!!!!! pray for me!!! im going to a auction later.
s: must pray for me hor.
d: okay. okay.
d: what auction? u need money ah?
s: yes. i need it to go to australia.
d: can.

5mins later....

d: hey. now i can understand why you can sleep the whole day and be a nonctual at nights. i just did that a couple of days.
s: wei!!! u see my hamster pic!!!
d: .........
d: i see before already. sigh.

anyway, the man from australia is back after much struggling from keeping the secret of being back is able to let it out on saturday service. going to see this guy for four precious weeks.

membership: bestie, brother or bf.
choose one. bestie taken.
* really into deep thoughts*

haha. these conversations lighten up my sunday night.

2006-06-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

blood has been shredded for me, i was saved by grace.
but i was still not free.
confusion, frustration and problems sink into my mind deeply.

the light who was strong all while has started to blink at times.
help was given, but it is not making an impact afterall.
dreams or ordinary.

my heart was in pain.
tired of wrongly accused where bystanders looking at you blindly.
pain was piled by layers.

flesh is willing but mind is not.
sensitive he may be, he's still a being.

down with deep cut

2006-06-20T12:41:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		6
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

took this quiz from a friend. it seems like im a touchy person and wants to spend quality time. acts of service and receiving gifts is the lowest of all. that's is not so true. people, i will be more glady to receive the gifts.

the life of darren

2006-06-04T18:06:00.000+08:00

it took two people who bring me to church and integrated in

it took me two months to be a christian and still do not know what is happening around me

it took me four months to realize that the true meaning of being a christian

it took me another five months to realize where i stand in Christ and breakthrough in my family

it took me three months to realize that depression can be healed in Jesus's name

it took me two months to realize that how many friends are standing besides me

it took me another two months to realize that why not me doing things and that is beyond my wildest dream i could imagine

and it took me four days to realize that changing lives now are going to impact the next generation

and it took me two years to be who i am right now

pre ns depression

2006-05-30T16:32:00.000+08:00

is this called pre-ns depression? where i can be pondered about it at nights about how am i going to survive in there and how could i dont think about it when i see shing and benjamin on saturdays. less than 10 months or maybe lesser, i will be in for sure.

talking about ns since i was young when mummy keep nagging at me to study hard, " must study hard now ah, if not u will suffer in there i tell you, those officers will te-kan you if u are not highly educated." daddy will say, "want go in army liao hor." and now its coming to pass and happening soon.

that means i have limited time to do before that. when some guys said bad and good stuff about ns, u can listen to their one-sided story until you must experienced it yourself.

a group of frens which i hanged around with for almost three years has something going with the guys. warcraft fronze throne is what we are playing for the past two months and frienships has become stronger and friends are integrated in e cg. i would say that it's a good place to fellowship and has a common ground to talk.

talking about family and financial matters. can money can be measured over family? in fact, there's a thin line in between. if the family is not strong bonded, naturally you will measure money over family and things go wrong, is either you are strong with your family or you cant even think for your family and you cause much troubles when there are already troubles in the family. there's where your your faith and mind really increased a lot and you become a new man and people are added into your life by God to help and share the burden with you. im glad i've passed the stage of tribulation and hoping to improve even more better. hang on girl, you can do it.

emerge conference is less than 1 day 22hrs. excited and feeling tired at the same time. haha. mr darren will be going for arm wrestling on the last day of the emerge. maybe he be blessed with incredibly strength which he has never before.

personal evaluation

2006-05-23T11:20:00.000+08:00

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

You Are French Food

Snobby yet ubiquitous.People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 35%

You are slightly prone to stress, but generally you keep it under control.You know how to relax and take things as they come, even when your worlds seems to be falling apart.Occasionally, you do let yourself get stressed out, but you snap out of it pretty quickly.

How Stressed Are You?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

a test of endurance

2006-05-15T13:35:00.000+08:00

he has done his revision in the afternoon but he's still worried about it.
maybe in the middle of the night, he will wake up and study again.
he's going to pray that everything's gonna be alright for tomorrow.
he will not have fear in him but he will be going to the lecture theatre with the peace in his heart and ready to take the papers.
after monday and tuesday, he can be his normal self again.

exams

2006-05-09T15:27:00.000+08:00

can you imagine you have already slept and had a nightmare that woke you up? a nightmare that reminded me that i have not finished my maths work and it's time for school and i really went to the toliet to brush my teeth.

mid-year

2006-05-03T16:03:00.000+08:00

study, study, study, study, study
study, study, study, study, study

what else can i do but to study? i love maths. i love english. i love chinese, i love social studies. i love geography. i love physics and chemistry. i love my teachers expecially my ''chemistry teacher.''

i realized that i can be isolated from everything but to do necesarry stuff. the only strength you can depend on, it maybe seems so you cant reach it, but it can be done. i can be very sensitive person at times, but please do understand and stand in my position.

a familiar instrument has taken out to ease my anxiety, worries and to seek and just a slightly pluck i pluck it, the second string break. what an encouraging messaging i received.

my mum says i love you on one morning. should i feel happy or weird? haha. i want to go to ah ma's house, terribly miss her although her nagging can change your mood drastically. my mum bought paper plates for me to put my potatoes as i put butter on it and its too oily to wash it. and ah ma bump into my mum in the market and saw the paper plates and ask, '' taolin got party ah, why never ask me to go?''(in teochew) realized that i neglected her so much. ah gong is going to operation in early may. i better do something fast.

life

2006-04-23T16:44:00.000+08:00

why am i being tortured by it and why am i putting hopes on it and at the end of the day i was utterly destroyed and sometimes it has also affected my studies. why am i doing it and i got frustrated at the end of the day? i was enlightened while i was on my way home, i was thinking how to get out of this and my mind was in peace at that time. no doubt that i was better than last time and after all, things changed much better then.

actually i dont wish to talk about playing but it was great so i think why not share it. e first time i played for combined cgm, had the urge to play it even more better. had good comments from yieling which i was greatly encouraged. i was thinking how could i play in front of so many people and playing God's song and i am still playing for cgm. not to mention that i really improved tremendously and its an miracle. note the word miracle. haha. can you imagine a person that is not music-inclined and learning an music instrument and using that to serve Him. who can you give thanks but Him? we are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; perecuted, but not forsaken, stuck down, but not destroyed. thank you.

three more weeks to mid-year which im determined to do it well. mind over matters darren.

what are friends for

2006-04-16T16:11:00.000+08:00

the meaning of the word friend

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trust
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comarde
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronize a group, cause, a movement: friends of the clean environment
friend for Geek; philos which means i love.

i was looking at what are the friends that i always i associate with, is it the person whom they always see every week or everyday and just say hi to you only or is the person whom can sense that you are not doing well and immediately ask you what has happened without you telling them.

i have missed my training for close to one month, time for me to resume it back before my muscles go flappy. that is diguesting.

heaven and hades

2006-04-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

today is good friday which means its public holiday. im looking forward for the past week for this day where i can sleep without that irriating familiar alarm that wake me up everyday. hardly breathe nowadays in school, wish that i could have more time each day. i feel so sad that i couldnt spend more time w my grandma and at home with my mum.

had bible studies on wednesday, that lesson literally blow my mind away. the resurrection of the dead.
interesting eh. it bought me to mind that my family and friends have not been saved yet. and that lesson says that those who are unsaved and are not dead yet, they will live during the second Jesus's coming and He regins one thousand years and this might be e last chance that do they wanted to accept Jesus. and Christ will come for the overthrow of the anti-christ and of course Satan, that's one of e reason why He comes back.

and another thing i was quite amazed was the changes that the dead body was resurrected and there are five changes to the new body which is the new body will be incorruptible, the new body will be immortal, e new body will a body of beauty and glory. can you imagine when Jesus has resurrected and he's in His new body who can appear immediately or anytime that he wants and he can walking between heaven and earth. there's more of it, this is just e introduction of e lesson.

praise and worship

2006-04-10T15:50:00.000+08:00

looking back at the photos from pas years, everybody's appearances has changed and i was rather amazed by it and even i have changed also.

you know what, i was so careless yesterday that i left my guitar in the back of the car booth when i left the cab. what a muddlehead i am. thank God i able to get it back on that day. experiencing a kinda feeling that was so good, wordless i could say. extraordinary blessings and grace from Him. i cant deny that he's not faithful and there for me but the truth is this you have to trust Him and fear and doubts are always from the devil which sometimes i was wondering does him have any new tricks. but again, i have learnt my lesson and be careful of course.

blessed darren

2006-04-08T16:28:00.000+08:00

it's been donkey years im writing my entry. wow. time seems passes so fast that i was so afraid. its getting nearer to o level that somtimes i feel that its tomorrow. but im enjoying myself in school although there are free flow of homework and stress that i couldnt take it. i realized that im not stupid afterall, the concentration just need to be there. although it's just the foundations of maths, i've mastered three chapters in three hours. slow but steady.

home remains the same, spending even lesser time at home, believing situation will change for close ones not to mention they will be saved soon. im hoping and determined to go to the next level of breakthrough, not being selfish about myself, praying for my grandparents and my old aunt to be healthy everytime i prayed. its really amazing that you offering your treasure to God's hands and sometimes you're lending to Him that beyond your expectations. and it's so amazing how He returned you back and your storehouse are filled that it cant even contain anymore, i can said that im experiencing it right now and felt so scary that it is happening to me.

i was quite held back when somebody told me that i was appeard "dao" maybe sometimes my face expressions show it all but have to agree it with her that i must improve it. i was thinking of these words when i heard this song, dont think you know his name, u know everything about him. how much people know about me and interested to know about me?

kbox.

2005-12-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

hmm. this is the second time i had a heart attack since he came back. why am i blogging eveyday.

haha. i will be busy for dec and even busier when the school starts. went to kbox in the night until in the morning, the fellowship was great but it was abit insane. singing until 3am that kinda thing. all of us were having breakthrough yesterday, included me. singing abit off-tone. haha. when the person came to give us the bill.

pretty girl: we want to bill as we want to close already. is it possible?
jin cheng: okay. sure.
pretty girl: it will 103 dollars.
group: mouth wide open, staring at each other.

this is the second time, i got this. although it was just small amount to you guys. well, i'm trying to fit in every situation.

praise the Lord. i'm working for the zouk out tomorrow night, i thought they had forget about me. i asked the senior on the phone just now, what am i gonna do for that event. "look at girls lor." haha. i hope i will not be looking at them the whole night, give me something to do instead. praise Him man, heard that the pay is good.

Matthew 6

31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, "what shall we eat?" or What shall we drink?" or "What shll we wear?"

32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

hmm. maybe its time to let go of things that is doesnt conceren me and i dont want to affect my spiritual walk and want to move on. i know my goals, focus on it. it's not easy i know but i will try.

singapore expo

2005-12-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

went for prayer meeting at expo, it was great. new place, new transport. haha. i have bus that go to expo that is less than 40mins if doesnt have traffic jam. is it great? i didnt expect it to be so fast and all the while i've been travelling jurong, praise the Lord man.

went to meet my mentor with my aunt and mum in the school. imagining two people who were not your side and been attacking you but not helping you? but the talk is good with my teacher. she said that she is gonna guide me along the way with the "activities" next year. i'm gonna let myself to be happy and make things to make me happy also.

Psalm 7

1 O LORD my God, in You I put my trust; Save me from all those who persecute me; And deliver me,

2 Lest they tear me like a lion, Rending me in pieces, while there is none to deliver.

3 O LORD my God, if I have done this: If there is iniquity in my hands,

4 If I have repaid evil to him who was at peace with me, Or have plundered my enemy without cause,

5 Let the enemy pursue me and overtake me; Yes, let him trample my life to the earth, And lay my honor in the dust. Selah

6 Arise, O LORD, in Your anger; Lift Yourself up because of the rage of my enemies; Rise up for me to the judgment You have commanded!

7 So the congregation of the peoples shall surround You; For their sakes, therefore, return on high.

8 The LORD shall judge the peoples; Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness, And according to my integrity within me.

9 Oh, let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end, But establish the just; For the righteous God tests the hearts and minds.

10 My defense is of God, Who saves the upright in heart.

11 God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day.

clothes

2005-12-07T07:30:00.000+08:00

clothes have come a long way since Eve first donned the fig leaf. but are clothes just a cover up? we make clothes our own - we choose to buy them when to wear them, sometimes we grow to treasure them.

clothes say something about the way we see ourselves and the way we want others to see us. they are a tacit form of communication, reflecting our values, interests and identify. each item of clothing forms a part of our personal landscape.

-second skin, Kristy Dunseath-

bye jurong west.

2005-12-06T12:32:00.000+08:00

my day has come. water baptized by Pst. Aries on saturday, it was a quick moment which i didnt expect.

it was the last saturday in jurong west, moving to expo this week. was rather emotional when i was in the auditiorium where the services and prayer meetings held. i will miss the building. the cg was taking photos in church, if u wanna look at photos, u can go to my friendster account. everyone is moving and i wanna and will move with them too. every week, we are receiving teachings and discipleship, but now, it's like a refreshing teachings for me now and then. it's even more better to receive your own revealation yourself other than your leader. anyway, i love my leader also, she is wonderful.

hmm. my mum is discharged. Praise God. i was so tired going to the hospital and i hate going to the hospital now. but the food over there is quite nice and there's a nurse who's quite pretty. oops. praise Him even more when're doing fine, praise Him when you're in trials, you are honoring Him and angels are watching over you. you will not go dry walking with Him.

once again.

2005-11-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

this is the last week of school, that's marks the end of this school term. i'm glad.
went to watch harry potter at the omni theatre, it was great.

i went to the beach to work again after so many months of leave, had whole new experience each daay i've worked. realized that i've to tolerate people who are working there. sometimes i don't even understand it. guess i've to swallow it down and be more friendly each time and do my part. light of the world, salt of the earth, that's what i always said to myself everday. and what, adrian is joining me. i wont be so bored, eating lunch alone where everybody are having their duties.

oh. jinnie is back. i'm glad that he's back and i can save up for those overseas calls. aha. went out with him just now. was in the train with yieling, she said that i was in world all time during church and cg, so called the "darren's world. maybe everything has change for me and even in chuch or anywhere. a change of perspective i'm maybe having now.

bible seminar was inspiring for me, it was totally something new from the other seminar i've attended so far. it has challenged me to be more intimacy with God. becoming a christian will have an easy life to most of the chirstians and friend's mindset has been wrong. He said that you will have great trials and tribulations ahead of you and you shall stand with Him to overcome the paths. i shall be with Him, no matter how tough the road is, it is for Him. lonely at times and suffer sufferings for Him.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words

movie. movie.

2005-11-12T16:19:00.000+08:00

yes, my exams have ended this week, i felt thrilling at first and relieved that it's over. but after that, i felt regretted that i was not composed when i was doing some of the papers. i realized that i have chose the wrong question for my social studies but i had finished it, i had a bad time management for my geography paper and praying now for a miracle to be happen in my maths and physics.
i've english oral and science MCQ and practical. after doing the papers, my chem teacher said to me that i did quite well in my science which i find it unbelievable and relieved at the same time. and after english oral, i decided to read more books and speak more pro-per english. it was fine for my oral and i got 29/40 for it. my teacher was discussing where are my mistakes. "i'm happy what i have already". i spoke that during the conversation with her, she pointed that out. i often translate cheena into english.

i love to watch inspirational movies, it really gives me more driven in my life. bandline was watched in chong ghee's house. watching at his house is better than watching at the threatre. aha. not to mention that there's a pool table and ktv going on. alright. i shall watch movies that are inspirational in the future. damn. i am having stomach pain in the evening till now. i will not patronise that stalll again, must be that kang-kong doing.

npcc.

2005-10-22T15:43:00.000+08:00

i miss those days in st. gab, especially np. those days are really fun and excitement, camping, fun and laughter and getting all the shit together. i remebered i was being called back to np and dont know what reason did the teacher called me. and not long ago, the posting of position has come and i was posted to platoon sergeant of sec 3 and some were unhappy as i dont have the ability to lead the squad but i nevertleness i have pulled through miraclously.

thinking back then, i still remembered the heated arguments and disputes and this is the time where true colours were displayed. i do not know anything about it and i was so innocent and naive back then and often followed the crowd. and luckily this crowd of people can be called good friends. some people would want which called power hunger for positions at that time, and others would just want to get things done and have fun at the same time. that how i wish that everything can be done nicely and nic ely manner at that time.

life still goes for me and is getting exciting each day i suppose. exams are coming next week and i still have the time to post entry right now. i've been mugging for the past weeks, really hope that everything will just be fine and have fun after exams. some people asked why i'm having dinner and going home alone and didnt go along with friends and which i find it quite alright. i believe that He has reason to put it in this way and that's why i'm like that. friends come and go which i agree sometimes. but there are just some minority who will just stand behind you and you know that they are behind you and no words can expressed beyond that and you are contended by that. hmm. i shall continue to mug hard for the few days. i really need You the most at this moment, you know my desire.

why we sometimes recall the past and find it memorable, is because that is already in the past. is it true?

all for love.

2005-10-10T07:02:00.000+08:00

all for love a father love. for only love could make a way. all for love the heavens cried. for love was crucified.
oh how many times have i broken your heart.
but still you forgive. if only i ask.
and how many times have you heard my pray. draw near to me.
everything i need is you. my beginning, my forever. everything i need is you.
let me sing all for lve. i will join the angels song. ever holy is the lord. king of glory. king of all.
all for love a saviour prayed. abba father have your way.
though they know not what they do. let the cross draw man to you.

be ready in and out of season.

2005-10-03T12:37:00.000+08:00

most of the project are over and chemistry and maths left now. experiences, learnt new stuff and handling people.
steve: thanks for making time for me and my group for making such a great short flim and the teacher said she is gonna send it for competition. great huh.
nan: hey nan, thanks for space in your house, your electricity, your dinner and printer's link. haha. you're the best and your mum's dinner is great. sometimes your nagging helps me alot.
ben song: bro, if next time have time, we go to your house and ton, glad that you''ve shared with your story. preserve and God wont waste your pain that you had honored Him. things will change even better at home. amen?

i went for a focus study group yesterday with some professor and one of the political minister, it was nervous at first. we were talking workfare versus walfare. it was really good experience as i shared my experience with them about going to study o level and what difficulties that i had at that time. there were two young malay married couples there, they wanted to to upgrade themselves but they both have a child to take care of. both of the guys were currently in NS and do not which direction they should take after ORD and they were coufused and of them said his future is very dim to him. despite the family problems and objections they had, they still wanted to upgrade themselves, hoping to give their child and themselves a better future which has reminded myslef to want to study even more harder.

churh and cg are good and i was quite caught with things that were on saturaday. BS, guitar class, fellowshipping, just hope there will be more time. right now, i must start picking up on studies, exams are coming. glory Him and study at the same time. playing for cg this week, it will great on that day. :)

projects. projects!

2005-09-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

here i am in nancy's house doing project. finally, i've finished my english and social studies project. praise the Lord! but nancy keep nagging at me, "you come here waste my electricity, come here and waste my printer ink, waste my living room space, waste my dinner". nancy, as you get older, you're more nagging.
working in sentosa is good so far. working with dennis and kelvin on that day, they are really full of crap. steve, u will lose to them, you dont stand a chance. other than they're speaking the sutra, they are nice to mix with.
final exams is coming, i will defintely do the very best and glory Him. amen!

X-640C

2005-08-24T11:38:00.000+08:00

i got new phone at last although it was not my choice. and my uncle is busily playing with the phone.
samsung x640c i think, hope i can figure it out in no time. school term break is coming, two weeks of break but tons of projects to do. what a school term break. guess i didnt came back to my grandma's place for a long time, everything is so new to me now, shall come more often if i can.

great season.

2005-08-23T05:33:00.000+08:00

here i am updating it in my sch now or else the tage will be full of complaints asking me to update. service and cgm is great so far, was being shaken by the problems and some disputes are not easily solved while i was walking with the Lord but thank God i went back to the right path again. after falling down, i've learn to listen to His Word, really bring revival in the cg and do what i can.

yieling's birthday message vcd was finally shown to her after so much of trouble and efforts making this done. i want to comment that most of the credits is for steve, he has really dont a good job, expecially his message that touches me. steve, dont fly to this sky if you have read this. i myself was blessed during my birthday. new bag which i found it not bad, a birthday card which was so different from last year. somehow, i will be getting a new handphone this week, whom my uncle has this coupon that can change for free and do not even need trade in or upgrading plan. i hope it will be good phone and user-freindly lah.

i'm back in sentosa to work again after so much of postpone and this means that i can save more money. so far i did not do any contact rescue but just sitting on the tower kapo-ing the people what are they doing and looking at the sea. anyway my neighbour just passed away the day before. i was stunned and shocked and the first thing i ask my mum, why she die. it was that morning, when i was sleeping so soundly and watching tv after that while my neighbour was in pain alone in the house and by the time she was sent to hospital, she was announced died.

i started to touch the guitar after my previous guitar was in a tragic state. i started to have phoebia of havng guitar. but somehow, i plucked the courage of picking up the guitar again and yieling's friend is teaching. so in this season, i believe breakthrough are coming one by one and growing to another level.

"Accepting Jesus isn't just one day event but learning how to walk with Him with His presence everyday"- Sy Roger

glory to glory.

2005-07-17T15:39:00.000+08:00

it's seem that i've not been blogging faithfully for the past three months and i shall make it up for it. i'm currently staying at jinnie's house, planning to flim our so-called star wars and i have a feeling i will not be sleeping tonight. deborah, u no need to count how many days that i haven't write my blog entry, this 's a fresh new one.

God is really good to me these few months and going up a level up of spiritual growth and stuff like that. really thank ful God for the favour and protection upon me in my studies and workplace. i've a job in sentosa which i was afraid intially working as a lifeguard in sentosa was dangerous although i wanted it so badly. i was told to work at various towers and it was rather scary as i was alone the whole day. i was telling myself to well prepared as someone is drowning and i pray that there will be no people get drowned and save me the trouble to go into the sea and i have to write report about it. it was really a heavily responsible job and i have to watch the sea and i cant do anything else. that's the most painful part. gradually, i've adapted to it and made friends over there, there are rather cool and they were talking about the experiences they had in there, so really learn a lot of things over there and i will be still working in the weekends if i have the time.

overnight prayer meeting is scary thing to me last time as it is overnight praying as u guys know. this time i step out of my comfort zone and went for two weeks meeting as i yearned for God even more. and God did not disappoint me for the two weeks and i've learn to depend on Him instead on myself. depending just your own strength is a stupid thing to do you can't do this alone. with God, everything is much more easier and lighter . i've pledged the amount that i wanted to give to the Lord for the buildling fund and i believe that it really cost me something and is precious to me that i wanted to give it to the Lord, if not He doesnt want your small little offering that you want to give it to Him, He have the whole world's gold. God wants something from you that is precious and He will multipy you hundredfold back guaranted if you trust in Him, that's what today service message is all about.

Blessing from Heaven.

2005-05-19T05:40:00.000+08:00

I was shocked! I was speechless till now, i was blessed by this particular person. This person has sponsored me half of the guitar's cost and i can buy my guitar officially. Praise the Lord! I've experienced the greatness of God and know that He will not abandon you in what curcumstances as long you put your trust in Him. I even got a belt that i want that was blessed my friend also. God is good ya? amen.

It's coming to an end of my guitar class and soon i'll have my test coming by. I believe that i will pass the best that i can get. So much things is gonna happened, hope thati can do it well. expectations of my results: english-B3, maths-B3, combined humanities-A2, chinese-A2, science- B3.

2005-05-16T05:48:00.000+08:00

I was tremendously blessed and touched. It was Pst. Phil"s conferences and services for the past week. It's a life changing experience for me. He's there to feel your spirit and refresh your mind and you want Him so much and He will shut you up when you are thinking stupid thoughts. 5 days to biathlon, please pray for me.

God is good.

2005-04-08T15:55:00.000+08:00

I cant seen to blog down what i'm doing daily although there are times there are so many things happened. I prefer to write down my thoughts mostly which i've straighten out of it. Things are getting out of hand which i'm learning along the way and adapt it.
I went to swim the day before whom i didnt touch or get into the chlorine water for almost four months and i had school until evening and i was tired. It was horrible when i was in the water and I was like a old man who was gasping for breathe in the water, so pathethic. i swam few rounds of butterfly and i was dead. Seeing my junior had training that day can really put me down, his speed and build who i had seen him for months has improved so much. I do not believe it and i decided to go for 50m sprint with my swim-mate and the results is disappointing. A guy who can swim 50m lap at 38secs and now he's like a newbie looking forward to the first swimming lesson. I shall make it a point to swim at least once a week even i'm tired.

School is fine and i'm bringing lunchbox everyday to eat in order to buy guitar and a new handphone! My phone will automatic shut down sometimes and i cant even switch it on. Jehovah Jireh, You will come and bless me.
Friends, when we are serving Him and so committed in chuch, we must not neglect our families along the way. There are times that you are so busy with it and your work or school and you just go home to sleep and the next day you're out till late wee. Be a good testimonial at home that parents and siblings will see what made the change in us and even though we're so tired at times, we're still helping out with the housechores and cares for the family and they will know. (:

Enter through the narrow gates. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

every minute without is worthless.

2005-03-23T15:32:00.000+08:00

it's been ages that i've blogged, everything was like going so fast. it's coming the end of march and jinnie, i'm blogging now okay. it was much different from last year than this year, everything was like so scary that my schelude is so packed that i did not have my spare time of mine as for last year, i've so much time that i could have at least 14hours of sleep daily. haha.responsibilities and expectations were laid upon me, not really that. a target that i want to reach for Him. i have some comments not long ago that someone who is calling me a "HOLY FREAK?" what on earth that i've done? let's just say that i'm only doing what i need to do ya? dont be scared and dont go away from me. haha. really hope that she will come back for easter celebration. (:

my first semster report card is out, it wasn't good at all not even my expectations. shall work hard to earn my As. i'm so pissed over an incident that an indian guy saying that i've pass a comment that i'm gonna box him? get a life, i dont understand why some people trying so hard to get into chec and when they're in that school, they started to play truant and not doing what they've to do. forget it since i do not know what they had got into them.

Benny Hinn crusade has ended, solid man. haha. i've withnessed those wonderful miracles, a 80 years old woman who have asthma all this while have been healed and she ran to and fro the stage and it's not fakeness. that scene can really melt you down. and a man who have been taken medicine for years have been healed of course. he told us that his medicine bottle was broken to pieces out of the blue that God was telling that man he do not need to intake those medicine again. can you imagine people came from different countries just to attend Pst. Benny Hinn's crusade, really show that God is so real. i'll look forward the next crusade let alone joining the choir.

this is the second time that i've baked the cake for members. it's beginning to bake a cake for every member's birthday. this time, ann and jeremy have joined in. the outcome of the cake was much presentable than the last time that we added kiwi and whipped cream were made by us. i cant imagine that i can made the whipped cream, sooo nice. i'm thinking of making that for my mum's birthday.

we got something so good, we gonna show you,
standing in His light, you will see you gonna shine through,
open your heart, is real is for you. we got something to show you.

God is the greatest.

2005-02-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

Pst. Ulf Ekman's conference was finally over for the past three days of rushing to to church after school. it was a tiring and persection but after all it was worth it. the Word has impacted me alot and i believe the cellgroup will grow in the Lord even more. i think the conference hs really shown us our real self when we have to queue up for the conference and bad temper and habits started to show up. i admit that i got flared up at times and i'm sorry about it when members were not coming up or members were be late, it was a difficult decision for me as i have to hold the seats or give up. Friendship, Pride and Holy calling were beling preached. And Jeremy, really agree with you that we have pride in us and we must be very careful that Pride will creep into us and we don't know about it and we should really guard our heart towards Satan and God hate is a proud look. amen?

Jeremy, i'm so glad that you really enjoyed the birthday celebration that we've prepared for you. it's has drained us alot from our time and sleep of course. why we want to spend so much time for your birthday thing is we really want you to know that the cellgroup loves you and love cant say into words, needs action to be proven. and we want the other cellfroup member to felt what you felt it too that u know that u belongs to this cellgroup and we didnt take you for granted. let' pray for the cellgroup and it will bring glory to glory for Him.

points of grace

2005-02-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

WORTHLESS / Jess Cates, Kevin Paige / I woke up today with a revelation / An introduction to the truth / I knew the world was round / What goes up comes down / And maybe I finally got it figured out / Chorus / A moment is worthless / No meaning, purpose / Every breath is just wasted / If you are not the centre of my world / I'm just drifting, barely existing / Every mintue without you / Is worthless / You know the state of my condition / And yet You hold me anyway / SoI won't take a step unless it's Your direction / Where was I / Before I finally realized / Chorus / There's a void in my heart / Where it's empty and dark / Without You and Your love / Lord, i'm broken apart / I surrender my life / To be right where You are

jinnie.

2005-02-21T15:26:00.000+08:00

After almost three months of fellowship and bonding, jin cheng went back to australia to study this morning. the atmosphere was so stiff when he's going to the plane and tears were hold back when he went off. my leader was trying to see whether will i cry when he went off. in case u dont know darren well, he will be moody for the quite some time and everything will be fine. alright. it's not that he's not coming back, it's a moulding for the both of us spiritual and physical. as if we've done something wrong. haha. jinnie, u shall see how darren play for the cellgroup when u come back and defintely i will master the F chord. haha. and let's believe that there will be revival in the cell. amen?

I'm so excited about it, Pst. Ulf is coming to preach for the week. hope that i can go for the three days conference and Father God you will come and take away my tireness most importantly and multipy my sleep which i deprived of for the past week. and Benny Hinn is coming to town, it's gonna be the talk of the year man, looking forward to it.

New Year is coming to an end and was blessed to receive angbaos money which i can save up and buy what i want finally. i didn't go my grandma's house to visit and missing her somehow. I bought a bag today with my leader and she bought one for herself and realize that spending is so easy and saving up is like hell. I had 60bucks for two weeks and i dont even know what are the things i spent on, only know that i blessed my memers and i ate good food for the past weeks. swensen and fish and co which i never wanted to eat but it's nice la. haha. but He is gonna bless me back hundredfold and i'm not trying to be flacking okay, have faith in it although this is a reality world but who knows that you will rich overnight?

Temperament-Discover its potiental.

2005-02-08T17:24:00.000+08:00

I'm a Phlegmatics.

Phlegmatics are the most deliberate eater of all and are invariably the last ones though eating. They enjoy shopping, particularly women. They take longer, shop slower, and are probably more frugal than any other type. They are almost as indecisive as the melancholy. They have to stop more frequently than any type because they don't get enough on the first trip. Phlegmatics usually have a small but near handwriting. Phlegmatics are quiet about everything and seldom enter into debates or thrust themselves into conversations. They will respond to questions with wit and good humour, but rarely volunteer anything unless asked.

Phlegmatics can be good students if their procrastination doesn't catch up with them. They need a series of short-term assignments rather than long-term projects. They work best under pressure, though they claim they dont like it. They have orderly minds capable of analysis and deductions. They are prone to get their news from TV than magazines and newspapers. They have good memories and can be intelligent people if somehow motivated to learn.

Weakness of Phlegmatic is unmotivated, procrastinator, selfish, stingy, self-protective, indecisive. fearful and worrier. Strengths of Phlegmatic is calm, quiet, easy going, dependable, objective, diplomatic, efficient, organized, practical and humorous.

This is so true while i taking the quiz in my class. How you behave determines what tempermental you have, not what tempermental you have dictates how you behaves.

It's all about you Jesus.

2005-02-07T14:52:00.000+08:00

What Pst. John Bevere preached last services was really inspiring to me, a powerful preacher that i ever met. really benefited from what he had preached. Like what Pst. Kong and he said, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." not He draw near to you, is you draw near to Him first. trials and tribulations are upon me and i'll still rejoice in his name if the Lord. no matter how serious the problems is, i'll still seek Him. Doing follow-up this year as things are not going smoothly for my member and was making things difficult for me. I still beleive that things will get better in no time for him. God will make a way for him and me and circumstances will change. Learning not to bear the burdens myself as the Bible says He is gentle and lowey in heart and willing to exchange our burdens for his yoke as his yoke is easy his burdens is light.

School is really wearing me out and i've tests everyday after each chapter has completed.everything was like flash back memories in my secondary days on how i did my test and homework needed to hand in on time. when i said out i have homework to do and i need to go back early, those words were so familiar to me.nice teachers and good environment were never been better than secondary schools, besides that the classrooms were like "north pole", freezing in there and my both hands were totally numb. had a clique in the school right now, lunching and fellowship with them during breaks and i'm the only guy in the clique. hah.

troubles.

2005-01-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

No matter where I go, Troubles comes after me.

Although it goes away, It always leave by messing up matters.

Leavig me to pack up the mess. But it does not stop coming,

The way you act, The words you say, is able to welcome troubles.

anger.

2005-01-17T15:21:00.000+08:00

Anger is the child of frustration. We are not born to be angry. In fact, we learn it almost immediately

Anger often concealed in complaining and whinning, it is even possible to cause a crippling emotional condition like depression

We were encouraged to adjust to the will of others, thus we live with the frustration. Of may not having our own way.

Countless of times, we have been told that controlling our temper is a measure of our maturity.

the neo's war.

2005-01-13T17:50:00.000+08:00

praise the Lord! the dream and desire that i have had for the past year has finally come true. pinching my cheek that it's the reality, taking the very first big step of faith. i was praying about this to Him for quite some time and the day draw by. i began to weep on that night and i called jinnie to pray together. for just forty mintues, and we really sensed the power of His presence and we really felt it of the Holy Spirit. and jinnie requested to pray some more and i rejected it and told him another day as i was dead tired..

it's really the grace of God and i told Him that if it's really the will of Yours, all things shall made possible for me. i got A2 for my english entry test. i really jump up man. and i got C5-C6 for my maths entry test and that's is nothing surprise for me, as usual. hope that everything will be so smooth for monday school re-open.

and jinnie, "what wrong of i wearing slippers to town? hey! that is fashion k. haha. can see any guys wearing that to town, no one. and dont know who is the guy who stepped on my slippers twice and my strap of the slipper break, in the middle of orchard road?!

and guess what? i have a fight with my two sisters spraying party can at each other. dont know what's that called. bought it on christmas eve. younice and i were potting our plan that kelly is going to bathe soon and might as well, spray her like mann. haha. never had this fun with my sis for so long. u cant imagine how i spray her mann. haha. pulling her shirt and i spray in it. that's cool. that's how we play together since young. dont be surprised. and she wanted to pulled my pants and spray. sigh. bad girl. and that younice started to spray me also, starting to combine force with my sis against me. running all around the house and my mama is shouting as we have mess of the house. foams were everywhere. and my second sis went to bathe. and i corner younice to spray and she shout like she is being killed. her hair is wonderful, nice hairstyle. hey. forget to add in my mama, next time. haha.

Are You an Introvert or an Extrovert?

2005-01-08T03:28:00.000+08:00

Although you aren't completely outgoing all the time, you definitely aren't the "quiet and shy" poster child, either. That's because, when all's said and done, you're much more of an extrovert than an introvert. What does that mean? Well, for one, that you enjoy spending time with other people. You're never bored in your own company, but when it comes down to it, you'd rather interact than introspect. Evenings and weekends are for hanging out and catching up with your buddies, not sitting by yourself in the dark, right? And if you have a problem, chances are you'll talk it out with your friends or family, not stew over it on your own. That's what having a social network is for, after all. As long as you're not ignoring any thoughts or feelings that really need to be dealt with, it seems like you're in a really healthy place. Congrats!

farewell.

2004-12-30T17:51:00.000+08:00

hey. it's coming to the end of year 2004, time flies real fast and it's just like a blink of an eye. busy writing cards for friends and was on the phone with my friend and she doesn't appreciate my card? haha. u should understand my situation.

this year is really a struggle for me in school and at home. struggle in school is i have choosen a wrong course and did not have the means to study in private and i can understand jeremy's FEELINGS. haha. a kinda feeling that u cant get into a school that u like and was posted to somewhere that you like. that was a struggle and thank God i have made it.

i was miraculous saved! hah. slowly i really see His grace and presence despite family and close friends persecution. afterall, i stand all. and now my mama went for the altar call that day, He is so real and really touches me and my mama. if not for Him, i would be rotting at home all day and go clubbing?

words cant expressed that i have made a batch of believers and close friends. changes me totally and my character. u cant imagine who is darren neo in the past and u wouldnt wants to mix around with him.

and now, it's just a few days to the year 2005, i'm looking so forward to it positively and spiritual strong. hope that my plans is just for Him and will become true. growing more in the lord, united in the cellgroup and mostly important, praise Him in all circumstances!

and that one person i wanna thank with the bottom of my heart. thanks janice da jie. if wouldn't be you, i cant imagine who i am now. a person who is serving fervently Him and helping me all this while. just wanna say a BIG THANK YOU! can u hear it? put your ear near the screen, THANK YOU!

sweet past.

2004-12-27T15:48:00.000+08:00

i went to jinnie's house again! u must wondering why i keep going to his house? his parents went overseas so we can play like no one. surfing and playing, fliming the whole night, cant beleive we flim until seven in the morning. the production is called, "stars ball". right steve? copy from stars war movie. this is the best movie that we ever make so far and the last one in 2004. think from these staying, W260 brothers has bonded even more. Praise the Lord. really spend these holiday so fruitful everyday except i'm broke otherwise i'll be more fruitful. haha.

okay! my mama has come for the christmas indoor stadium, she has gone for the altar call, dont know she has really invite Him not.. cant believe that it's end of the year, time flies.was thinking of the past.

white christmas.

2004-12-24T05:26:00.000+08:00

yesterday cell christmas gathering was cool. 2004 is coming to an end, it happened just like yesterday. had lots of fun and presents were exchanged to each other, i got a von dutch by yun kiat. i was surprised that i got a cap but not a top or something. thanks yun kiat. and it was really fruitful that it's the first time that i ate so full in a gathering. haha. that normally food was not enough, everything was cool especially the curry. *drooling.

second day of work wasn't really that tiring under section I/C, her name is jesslyn, younger than me by one year. made some new friends in that section so time really passes quite fast that day. hopefully, i will not under the indian guy's hands. what mingxuan says was quite true to me that working in F & B business was tedious and need to see other's people faces but at the end of the day, u just have to tahan and you get the job pay at the end of the month. always know that He is with me all the time when i'm working. you will reap what you sow.

home sweet home.

2004-12-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

back from jinnie's condo. praise e Lord, steve is speaking tongues now. my efforts didnt gone to waste, can really feel that e Holy Spirit has touches him and that is e second time i'm praying for people. i shall work hard towards to it. in two months time.

okay! finally, i'm working from all those waiting and whining. e job was terrible man, it suck my energy and tiredness. here comes the whining. haha. and i can earn twenty bucks per day, better than nothing. and got this idot indian guy who thinks he is the boy in that cafe, bossing me around to carry stuff and was arousing his authority. always give me that "orang-tuan got pinched by its nipple face." see his face. supposed to be a happy day has become a sad day. but work is facing stress and presure. have to earn money, what to do.

the hairstylist..

2004-12-17T16:55:00.000+08:00

teacher yvonne is back! went out to fellowship with her yesterday. listening her story in australia, working illegally down but the pay is very good. 1.2k per week, that's cool. but it's a endurance job, i dont mind. hah. getting away from city and go to countryside and work, no stress. that's my dream.

Into your hand
i commit again
all i am, for you, Lord
you hold in my world in the palm of your hand
and i'm yours, forever.

Jesus, i beleive in you
Jesus, i belong to you
you're the reson that i live
the reason that i sing
with all i am

i'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
i'll trust in you
and i will live
in all of your ways
and promises, forever

i will worship, i will worship you
i will worship, i will worship you

others can, i can't.

2004-12-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

e camp was over, everyone were talking about how good it is. but seriously, it was a very meaningful and fun camp, thank God, i went to e camp. i had learnt spiritual stuff from Pst. Aries and Wenling's preaching. truly, it had really blessed me what i really want for my life and for Him.

christmas is coming and yet i haven't start work. so many things to buy for my close friends and my self! haha. so vein me. HOPEFULLY, i can start work soon..

synergy.

2004-12-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

i'm going to camp tomorrow, will be back by wednesday. dont have the mood for camping. haha. so many stuff to pack and i have to bring six sets of clothes?! sigh. will get scolded by my mama that she have to wash so many clothes. i'm worried my mama is left alone at home, one sis at my aunt's house, will be back by thursday, the other one is working until then ten something. sigh. myabe ask my sis to come back earlier.

the seduction of lawlessness.

2004-12-06T16:17:00.000+08:00

a two week seimnar by Pst. Kong and Rob Thompson of teachings has really increases my walk with Him, to pursues Him more and more even there are set downs and the devil coming to destroy you ahead of your journey. Rob Thompson has given us seven points, i chose the third one. No man can be defined by his beliefs, but by the quality of his actions. the Bible says that, " But someone will say, " You have faith, and i have works." Show me your faith without works adn i will show you my faith by my works. one not only just speak, must be a doer to show it. yieling given me Bible studies because mingxuan was overseas on last saturday. it was so good even though i was dead tired. maybe i ask yieling to give me BS from now on? haha. dont misunderstood me mingxuan k? you know what i mean ya? it was discipleship, chapter four. she was telling me how discipleship can make a christian grow up in their lifestyles and knowing their mistake and wont do it again.i'm willing to be discipled by her and i can become strong in the Lord under help and encouragement and agreed that true discipleship happens on-the-job, ona day-to-day basis, not sitting in a classroom and teach you. i'm surprised that Jesus's disciples were not educated and learned. pretty impressed what Peter had done on the cross for Him, he was crucified upside down on a cross that he says that he is not worthy to be nailed on the cross as Jeus. the nail below that suppose to be nailed on the legs but nailed on his head? eeeeeeee. all those blood and brain's juice oozing out. and Peter that kinda of changing directions and opinions and he done something for Him on the cross.

okay. back to my life. haha. jinnie is back. that means i'll be going out with him for gym and seeing him more often. staying over at his house next week. jinnie's mama is great. she actually drive me home from yew tee? i felt bad that day. the incredibles was so incredible. u should watch it! i like tha part that dash and his sister were fighting and dash use his super power to smack his sister's head, doing that afew times dashing. it remind me of the old times with my second sister when we were fighting. i will run to catch her as i was faster, beating her and ran away. haha. and she cried. and both of my sister's ultimate weapon was to shout mummy. hahs. but times flies, both of us grew up and now is to debate with her. no mummy.

Glory to my Heavenly Father.

2004-11-25T15:28:00.000+08:00

nothing can expressed me right now, i really want to give a big victorious shout. hahs. i had passed my BM test this evening, although it's just a minimum requirement to become a lifeguard. even u had an encounter with the word "trouble", u just seek Him, and u will see the miracle. whoohoo. He really give me a big hand on the back to make me pass. the whole thing normally around four hours and i ended the test less than half an hour. who did it? He. there were no theory test after practical and yet i can pass. who did it? He. each section, i passed with his graceful help. hey! besides that, u have to work hard and do your homework. you just have to leave the rest to Him. whoohoo. no one had finish that fast and it's really a miracle. and now darren can work as a part time lifeguard.

it really came at a right time. i was real broke these few weeks and i cant buy my watch for the time being. and now He offer me a job at the doorstep. Praise the Lord! and i no need to hunt jobs like no one, filling those stupid winded form and they didnt hire you in the end. this thursday is my final exam, so pathethic. everybody were enjoying their holiday and i have to mug. but enjoyment and going out is waiting for me in front. He had do it for you once, He will do it for you again. why not? mug mug mug mug.

Pass

2004-11-20T14:27:00.000+08:00

Should I laugh?

Should I cry?

Should I wave it all by?

Or make a decision and walk?

Should I scream?

Should I sing?

Should I ignore the ring?

Or tighten my lips, just refusing to talk?

Should I hope?

Should I care?

Should I howl with despair?

Or smile and retreat with good grace?

Should I go?

Should I fight?

Should I keep to the right?

Or follow the light that I see on your face?

pushing off the limits.

2004-11-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

i was fasting today yet i went swimming for the whole afternoon, crazy huh. clock was ticking so slow as i was watching my handphone now and
then. at last, the big time has passed, i went to eat black pepper teriyaki rice that was introduced by my friend and mac spicy meal later on. can tell you, i was so full. hahah. people from other countries were dying of hungry and me right now i was the first person to stuff to death. *nod head. i'm glad that i perservence to the end, without Him, it's impossible.

i havent finish my phase tests in school, it had to be done by next week. and the wonderful part is i dont know how to do! i cant wait for the holiday to come, and say bye to the damn school. my computer is getting worse and worse, think the hacker has hacked into my computer, i was fighting the mouse cursor with the stupid hacker. i strolled up, he strolled down. what's the matter with you? my computer doesn't have anything for you hack boy. finally, i had taken the quiz test, so stressed and scared that i will flunked. but He did not give me the spirit of fear, hope that i'll get full marks.

The Heavenly Man.

2004-11-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

school is gonna be hectic these few weeks, practical has to be done by holidays. five projects and two phase tests, and the best is i dont even know how to do. hahs. just pray i'll be able to hold on till holidays. 26 of nov is indenpedence day for me. had lunch with lao da this afternoon, told her that i'm able to serve for Him on sundays. hahs. think it's the grace of God, i was watching a show about helping out elderly on channel 8 and the show was really inspired people to care and help those elderly. can see that my mama is touched and finally i popped out the question of helping out at church, nagging and questions were asked why i want to help out. my mama is that sort of person whose face gives the answer. no frowning and silence means consent.

the fear has come. my previous coach, mr tan has came back from his operation recovery to give training. he given my friend a call that why we didnt turned up for training, he did not told him that we have change to another coach and he had already knew about it. had this kinda feeling that i dont like that i change coaches thing. friends from the classes asked me why i din turned up and told them i dont want to learn. kinda of missing them, the big noisy group that we swim thick and thin together and now i was training alone with my partner. human is like that, they want the fastest way to achieve the results they want.

okay. after eating lunch with lao da, went to sengkang to give some stuff to mingxuan, thought of leaving after handed the stuff to him and i stayed till night. hahs. but it was productive. learn something new today, was reading heavenly man. can tell you, that book is worth of spending your time reading. he's one man that i respect. cant believe that he had fasted for 74 days and tortures were being used on him. a electric baton was put into your mouth? and those idot guards were urining at you? there are lots of torture were being used on him and he was reduced to bones and have not die. it really bring me another level of faith and believe as you believe in Him, u can do all things through Christ to strengthen you.

christmas is coming and my sis's birthday is coming too. that means i need MONEY. hahs. given my application form to LIFE bookshop, hope that they will accept me. heard that there is interview before you are accepted. a friend of mine had failed at the hands of the interviewer. dont care who the heck are you, just give me the job. if i get the job, it's really the grace from above, gonna bless your people as You have blessed me so many things for the past year. visualization. rehearse your miracle. hahah.

happy memories.

2004-10-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

i miss my secondary days, the days where i grew to be a teenger, young adult, the days i mould my character. i'm really grateful to st. gab np, the place where that really tested my endurance, patience and the place u can make bosom friends. is it? hahs. recapping the clique that i have, slacking and joking around. whenever, there is a clique around, there is always some people that we dont like in the unit. lets just say that they're more "power hunger and cunning" and we're the righteousness one. we tend to do those stupid stuff and stuff that nobody can predict it. arguing with the teacher-in-charge is one of our forte, we can even make that particular teacher cry to tears? pathetic arent we? hahah. staying overnight at school that bring us closer even more. bathing in the middle of the night and "stealing" junior's stuff while they're asleep. why cant we have night hunt and scaring those juniors in the night? those teachers were too timid! worrying that the juniors were terrified and quit? worrying that the neighbours will complain? u guys might as well dont organise camps overnight right since the junior's psychology and safety is your priority? hahs. but camping and training tested us on the line. cliques: weixiang, darren, renli and david. hope we can meet soon ya? 13th or 14th nov, there's a carnival at indoor stadium on these two days. hahah.

after secondary school, darren is now located at city harvest church, jurong west street 91. he was bought by a biblical friend of his named janice. and now he belongs to a cellgroup named W260 anda great cellgroup leader given to me by Him and wonderful cell members. most of all, i get to know him better and better. by the way, happy birthday student ann! hahs. surprise right? can see that u really like the present that mingxuan and me got it for u. must treasure it k. do u ever have your muslce cramp? ever had both of your legs cramp? that happened to me this afternoon when i was training. the pain was unbearable! my muscles were like pumped up and saying "hi" to me. in the future, i must stretch my legs before going down the water. there's got something that is pondering on my mind. hahah. this incident happened in the train when mingxuan and me were going home. there's this indian lady with her friends were going clubbing. and she make me noticed her while she was talking on the phone so loud. there goes like this. hello. "vickesh" tomorrow is my birthday, MUST wish me k. i'm going to clubbing now, no la. bluff u. i'm going east coast. sad case right. where got people calling her friends one by one to remind that tomorrow is her birthday. its' quite a sad thing. *nod head. tonight cell meeting is good, its a combined cell with E276. God, are u signalling to me? hmm. i'll work hard towards to my goal.

Glorify Your name.

2004-10-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

Glorify Your Name. Dalene Zschech & David Holmes/Hillsong Publishing
Jesus. Jesus. Holy One. God's precious Son, You gave Jesus, Jesus on the cross, You took my shame. Forever, from my heart I'll say. I live to worship

You Lord. My King of Glory. You bought me to life, gave me wings to fly. You are Holy, Heaven and Earth declare Your praise, both now and

evermore. I glorify Your Name. Jesus, Jesus, on the cross You took my sin. Forever from my heart. I'll sing, Jesus. Jesus, I glorify Your name.

visualization. rehearse your miracle.

2004-10-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

Heavenly Father, what is your will for me? i know You have great plans for me and where i'll stop. there is so much persecution against me and i dont know what to do. i'm sick and tired of making decisions. come. come Lord, give me the visualization that i'll go, give me the wisdom and courage of You Amightly God. i'll be waiting for Your healings to come.

zombies everywhere.

2004-10-11T11:39:00.000+08:00

student ann is back from hongkong on thursday, lets see. she came back even more prettier than last time? hahs.. so glad that she came back and join us in service and cell.had disciple ship by lao da with jeremy. she wants us to rise up in the cell as she told us that she has expectations to me and jeremy. things just comes into my mind as the Holy Spirit really telling what i need to do, i ought to do it. was a some sort a wake-call for me and i'm so glad that i have a wonderful cell leader that He has given to me. amen.
went to watch resident evil after service with yieling, student ann, steve and jeremy on saturday. hmm. it's really a bless i have godly friends that we're sharing the same goal and dreams. was "fei-luo-ship" with lao da, jeremy and ann, we talked about rising up people and how the person up there is working in us.after the movie i went to stay over at jeremy's house as there was no transport back home. first time staying overnight, nervous as my impression of jeremy is serious and steady guy so wonder how his parents look like. tired and wanting to take a bathe and go sleep but we played ps the whole night? oh ya. didnt tell you that steve is looking so foward to jeremy's house. because.. there is ps to play with, now steve is bending to buy a ps even more after those tempting graphics and final fantasy effect. so after ps, we went watch "bring it on" as it was already in the early morning, cant beleive that i played that the whole night. we dozed off until afternoon and continued to play monoploy after our lunch and jeremy's brother, joel joined us for that game. quite an intensive and really getting bored after some times as we were getting tired. we went home after that. hahs. jeremy's parents are very nice people, buy us bee hoon for "morning breakfast": the moment we wake up and asked us what we need for lunch as they wanna buy for us.

Time is always your best friend.

2004-10-06T13:15:00.000+08:00

Time is always your bestfriend. It is through time you will learn many great gems of life, time that you will develop friendships, time will tell you who your friends are and who your enemies are. Time will help you understand yourself better, and let you brush up those skills and talents. Time gives you many second chances, and lets you make each wrong right. Give something, give a cause, time, and you will understand its worth. Time will show you the diamonds from the pearls, you will see the lasting from the fleeting. Time is your bestfriend. It keeps many secrets, but understand the power of it, understand it, use it, be patient with it, and you will know that time is your best ally. Even if time runs away from you, there are lessons to learn. Learn it quicker and you will be wiser. When you are wiser, you will soar higher. There are many things in life that you do not understand, many things about yourself, your family, your friends, God, your cause, your purpose that you may not understand. Give it time, watch for it, and you will realize that sooner or later, time will tell.Just dont beat up yourself for it if you did not understand it sooner or made some mistakes. Ultimately, time will still always be your bestfriend.

tearing night.

2004-10-04T06:12:00.000+08:00

mingxuan's birthday today, supposing to "sabo" him after his celebration. but we showed him our video clip as birthday card. you know what? he actually cried to tears, cant believed it. a big time punk in secondary school and was crying like a newborn baby. hahah. can see that God had really make big change in him and to be a better person. a devoted and more mature in thinking person. anyway, happy birthday brother! thanks for Bible Studies and the sacrifice to the cellgroup. really appreciate it.

why everybody is leaving singapore? yvonne is going to melboure till next year. was wondering whom i can turn to when my hair is long? we had dinner together as some sort of farewell. will miss her in the future.

went to help out in the children's church big day on friday. i was stationed at arrival and departure bus-stop there. the arrival of the children was not too bad. ticking down the bus number and helping out the children to get down. there were cute little kids! getting down the bus and queuing up. u can picture the atmosphere there. but after their service, it was like thousand of ants rushing towards us like they were being released after long time in the house. the whole thing was just tensed up, we have to direct the kids to their bus as soon as possible. the childcare centre kids were not too bad, it was easier to carried them up the bus and the whole process was carried out smoothly. but till the big kids, headache started to come. running, fighting, and all sorts of stuff that an normal kid would do. but i want to do great things for God. thinking He is moulding my character? to be more patient and more loving to children. hahs. amen?

what are dreams?

2004-09-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

school is sux! but it gonna be my one week holiday, cant wait to go to that school, two months. my seat is hot! i cant go to malaysia diving, such a waste. even didnt talk to my mama for two days for not letting me to go for the trip. but its over anyway. men should be decisive!

by the way, i gonna fulfill my mission pledge! finally, i can put my mind at ease. student ann has left singapore this morning, i think. so she has really left this time. hahs. hope that her mama will be okay after the operation. yieling has bless me things again, this time she has blessed me with a top from bossini. sigh. dont know what to say about her, had a long chat in the night that day. she told me that i had great potential to be dont-know-what. *raise eyebrown* saw the powerpoint presentation by my friend, was supposed to received it coz my comp is down. wishing me a birthday and what i am and i had change. so touched. being a christian isnt so bad, u have a brightening day each day and will know your purpose even better. maybe u say that i have change to be not as crappy as before huh. hahs. you will know yourself better, trust me. anyway he's a really a friend that i could really have. it's my honour. *cross heart* hug brother.

by the way, i havent figure out what are dreams? is it gonna be true? has asked afew of my friends, one of them say that dreams changes but reality doesnt. is it? had this kinda dream these few days, it seems so real! but that moment was clashed each time i have to wake up for school. why?! been recapping the past whom i supposed to forget. but it is so hard to difficult that u cant speak words alone. i wish that dream can become a reality. went to sentosa with adrian's family and his friend. he's one living example. they've been together for three years since secondary one. wish that someone is beside to share my joys and sorrow physical beside God spiritually. i like the God's presence when i'm praying. it's always so nice and sweet. but everytime after my prayer, sad smile return again. hahs.

so i have someone to eat supper once i had finish my service. no need to drink milo or milk to sleep again. think i'm going for the interview for the nursary's church soon. or should i say i had decided what i'm join for my ministry.

virus!

2004-08-27T08:55:00.000+08:00

this is darren updating my blog! hahs.. now at my aunt's house playing with my cousins, giving me real message eh. pain pain. afterwards will sure give them hard time want.
next week, i do not need to go to school! yipeee. teacher's day and teacher got courses next week. i'll be meeting my primary schools peepz and having bbq. wonder how they look like already. hahah.
nothing much to say this week, my comp is down! damnit. even my starhub connection is down too. what a luck. have to call the starhub for a change for it. phew. sobx. i cant go malaysia with my friend, my mama dont allow me. why? why?! misses the diving and those nice scenery. u can imagine the whole three days diving and slacking.
anyway have thousand thanks to jin cheng. he's such a great friend. thanks for helping.

2004-08-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

heya people. this is jincheng updating darren's unupdated blog for darren. since i know his username and password.. hmm why not? currently his comp is down due to a virus. he's in mingxuan's house now about to go home.. while i'm in sydney now wanting to go home. nevermind.. three more months. it isn't that long.. its only three.. you can count it with your fingers and still have seven more to spare.. fast right? (i'm trying to make myself feel better..)
wish darren a safe trip home.. see ya=p